Some parents create a system of rewards and demerits that boggles my brain. Their children earn (or lose) computer time, based upon doing chores, completing school assignments, and reading books. I have never wanted to do this, mostly because using such a complex system is too much work. I'm kind of lazy.
In my house, there has always been the understanding that school work comes first and electronic activities come second. Since my kids LOVE playing computer games, surfing the web, or playing on the Wii, they are very motivated to get their school work done each day. What we struggle with is what exactly constitutes "too much" computer time? Once my kids have completed everything on their "to do list" they feel they should be allowed to use electronics for the rest of the day. Given their choice, my kids would be "plugged in" 24/7. As their mom (aka "the bad guy"), I think there should be limits. Figuring out those limits is the hard part of parenting. It's all about finding the right balance.
For us, the easiest way to set limits was to devise a set of house rules declaring when electronic devices can be used. Our defintion of "electronic devices" includes: computers, gameboys, Wii, Playstation, iPad, and television. Currently, my boys have a four hour window each day. Two hour block in the afternoon (3:30 to 5:30) and a two hour block in the evening (7:30 to 9:30). I leave it up to them to decide how they will use that time. They can play a game of Portal 2 with friends on the internet, watch a family movie, or jam by themselves with Guitar Hero.
My husband thinks I'm being far too generous. If he had his way, our boys would be limited to 1-2 hours a day. However, I feel that as long as they are spending the rest of their day pursuing other interests it's okay. So even within my own family, we are still struggling to determine the optimal amount of computer time.
I encourage my kids to get together with friends and urge them to spend time interacting with each other. Whether those interactions constitute playing board games or playing frisbee in the park. Even though I know they'd all rather play on the Wii, I try to get them to do other things. As a result, they usually find that a mix of movie watching, playing video games, and doing something non-electronic works best. It doesn't take long for them to see that playing a good game of Carcassonne or Risk is more enjoyable than watching Star Trek for the twentieth time.
Finally, I think it is important for kids to experience some downtime each day. They need to find things that they like to do - just for the sheer pleasure of doing them. My younger son likes to work on building airplane models. We recently bought him a second hand desk (so we could stop worrying about him spilling paint) and he now has a workspace he can call his own. He is happy to listen to his CDs and build models for hours on end. My older son has recently developed a passion for chess. We have tried to support him by having a chess board always set up in the house. With a chess board always at the ready, he is more likely to work on chess puzzles or ask a family member to play a game.
Why and how, we limit our children on the computer is a personal decision. What works for one family, may not work for another. I think what's most important is to consider your motivations for limiting computer use and then keep evaluating to see if your plan is meeting your goals.
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